Sunday, September 27, 2009

Guide to Cabarete

If you should ever find yourself wandering the streets of Cabarete alone, use this simple guide to keep yourself out of trouble...
There are basically two streets you need to know. Street numero uno is the calle principal. If you are from Utah, you might compare it to a State St. of sorts. It is the main paved road that goes through all the nearby towns. This is the road where you find taxis, guaguas, and drunk drivers. There are basically no rules so don't be surprised to see a crashed motortaxi or a drunken 14-year-old driving a truck full of bananas. The calle principal is parallel to the beach, where you will find all the hot spots: restaurants, discotecas, surf lessons and if you're feeling wild, prostitutes. Seriously.
Street #2 is the callejon. Callejon de la loma I believe is the formal name. I wouldn't know as there are no formal street signs, addresses, etc. It's the street where most locals live and where all the local stuff goes down. Colmados, legit Dominican food and dead cows are just a few of the many delights within walking distance of any home on the callejon. The callejon is a dirt road littered with trash and pregnant, rabies-infested dogs. It's the best place in the world. Once again, I am serious.
The callejon leads you right up from the calle principal into the beautiful jungle of LA LOMA. The loma is where you can find real-life jungle children, caves full of water (Playboy mansion grotto style) and men headed off for a days work doing who-knows-what with a giant machete. 
Here, a few common sights in Cabarete...
the aforementioned machete-wielding gentleman.

posa (sp?) aka cave of fresh water where you can swim with kids in their undies.
far right, yes that is a cow head. muy delicioso!
loma boys!! hey hotties!!
duchando. en la calle. its cool.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

In case you haven't had enough...


Dominicanisms parte 2.

1. Colmado: Corner store. Usually playing really loud merengue or reggaeton music. You can't really buy anything good in these stores.
Pronunciation Guide: Kohl-mah-dough
Example: "I'm going to the colmado to pick up a packet of 2 aspirin. Need anything?"
"Yeah, can you get me an individually wrapped roll of toilet paper?"

2. Guineo: Banana
Pronunciation guide: Gee-nay-oh
Example: I wrapped my naked body in leaves from the guineo tree and went to the colmado."

3. Guapo: Angry, ready to figh.
Pronunciation Guide: GOO-ah-poh
Example: "That boy is very guapo. When I called him a 'maricon' he ripped out one of my braids."

4. Presidente: THE beer to drink in the DR. muy famoso.
Pronunciation Guide: Preh-zee-dent-ay
Example: "You wanna come with me to meet the Presidente?"
"Si, seƱor!" (wake up next morning in an unfamiliar room with a hangover).

5. Motoconcho: Motorcycle taxi. Dozens line up on street corners and offer rides. Generally driven by loud sweaty men who will say anything to get you to hop on. Cheapest, most dangerous and exciting form of transportation. The more people you fit on the seat, the better.
Pronunciation Guide: moe-toe-cone-CHoe
Example: "Today I pooped my pants on the motoconcho."


Language survival guide to the Dominican Republic:
NOTE- all these words are Spanish words. The examples are in English for your convenience.

1. Chin: A lil' bit.
Pronunciation Guide: CHeen
Example: "How much toilet paper did you accidentally flush down the toilet?"
"Oh, not much. Un chin."

2. Sanky Panky: (AKA Sanky Pank, S.P.) A guy who hangs on the beach and picks up hot tourist women in hopes of getting anything from a free drink to a green card and passage to the United States. Characterized by hot, muscled bods and sunbleached fros.
Pronunciation Guide: saynKEEpaynKEE
Example: "Why did you marry that guy from the beach that you hardly know?"
"I got sanky pank'd."

3. PSSSSST: A common noised used on the streets and in the classroom. Used by old men to catch the attention of young women. Also used to chastise children and to achieve silence in a classroom.
Pronunciation Guide: Psssst...pretty straightforward.
Example: "PSSSST! Helllooo Freeeeeeennnnd!!!"

4. Buen Provecho: Bon appetit
Pronunciation Guide: Booehn Pro-vehCHoh
Example: "Thank you for this delicious feast of yucca and ketchup!"
"Buen Provecho!"

5. Guagua: Van taxi overflowing with Dominicans. Van must be really old and falling apart and people must be hanging out doors/windows. Extra points for chickens in the seat next to you or an old man sitting on your lap.
Pronunciation Guide: GWA-GWA
Example: "The guagua driver was definitely borracho today."

6. Que lo Que?: What's up?
Pronunciation Guide: K Low K
Example: "Que lo que?"
"Nothing much, just getting back from a wild guagua ride."


See SaraBeth Swagerty after a couple drinks for Spanish pronunciation. 
Where does one stay while in the Dominican Republic, you ask? well, if you're lucky enough to be a DREAM volunteer, you might get to stay in your own personal slice of heaven: The Hummingbird. Oddly enough, I did not see a single hummingbird during my entire visit. 
This place isn't exactly what you'd call a's more like apartment-y. I was pleasantly surprised to see that our rooms didn't have dirt floors or rats feasting on my pillow when I walked in. A wonderful German lady, Birgit (Baguette, if you're sassy) owns the place and rents it out to Norwegian study-abroaders during the year and DREAM volunteers during the summer. We eat breakfast and dinner, try to catch at least a couple minutes of internet in between power outages and diarrhea our little hearts out all right here in our home for the summer. For the record, I never had diarrhea. Boo Ya. Anyway, there are ten rooms, It's a small place and most of the time you can find volunteers in anyone's room but their own. Especially in room 4, where the AC is always cranked. The Hummingbird boasts a beautiful pool and a great staff who keep us well fed and the sand out of our beds. That kind of rhymed and I wasn't even trying.
The most important and hard-working staff member at HBird? Princesa, the guard dog.

This is what a typical day at the bird looks like! laundry hanging, great pool, people sweating...
Sunday dinner/meeting for DREAM volunteers. What a delight.
Little guy hanging out in the room...
Homegirls. They provided us with bangin food and clean rooms...
Princesa doing what she does best...


Kite surfing capital of the world. Cabarete is a beautiful little beach town on the north coast of the Dominican Republic. The weathers hot, and the DREAM volunteers are even hotter. First order of business when plane lands: hit that beach.

The beach is where the party is at. The sand is hot, the water is a beautiful turquoise (and devoid of sharks, I might add) and the palms are blowing in the gentle breeze. Everywhere you look there are kite srufers, wind surfers and people enjoying the warm water. The first day we were there it was windy and all the sports enthusiasts were out to take advantage of the weather. It was a circus! It looked like this...
Luckily, most days it was not that crazy. But there were always amateurs out in the water to make fun of. There were also these crazy Americans who decided to go skinny-dipping in broad daylight...
Yes, that's me in the middle. Old man with goggles swimming by, you are welcome.


Not long ago in a place not too far away, I had some experiences that changed my life. i went to a tropical paradise like this...

Saw people that lived like this...

Helped kids that looked like this...

With a bunch of crazy people like these...

This is the story of Sarah's summer abroad.
Dominican Republic 2009, baby!
More to come...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


I just wanted to say a few things about the volunteers here. Everyone has been pretty great so far and it's been a lot of fun. We have a very very mixed group from around the world! There are 2 different camps here: and adolescent camp (13-17 year olds) and the youth camp (10-12 year olds). At both camps there are teachers and counselors. There are also Dominican teachers that partner with the foreign teachers to learn teaching strategies and whatnot.

Anyway, we have a great group. There are Dominican volunteers, Haitians, people from Germany, the US of course, and a ton of other places. Very diverse. All here for the same reason. It's pretty awesome. 

Today during orientation we worked with the Dominican teachers to go over teaching strategies and stuff. Unfortunately, I don't have a partner (Dominican or foreign) so I'm kind of a loner. It's a sad story. But I get to have the counselors in my at least I'm not COMPLETELY alone! And I've been getting way more confident with my spanish. It's crazy how quickly it's all kind of coming back to me. I guess its like riding a bike...? bad analogy. Riding a bike is hard. Anyway, I talk in front of our orientation groups...which is pretty crazy. I didn't think I'd feel comfortable enough with my Spanish to do that. 

PS The Haitian guys that are staying in Hummingbird are always listening to Akon and Lil Wayne, etc. I can't complain. 

Saturday, June 27, 2009

first dinner in the DR.

Once we got in to the DR, our first order of business was a trip to la playa!! We live like a block from the beach. Our hotel we're staying at has definitely exceeded everyones expectations! I was expecting to be in basically a shack. But it's amazing here! We have a pool and internet (obviously) and a security guard. Anyway, we walked down to the beach...the walk is nice. We pass this little fruit stands, and there's literally 100 little motos (motorcycle taxis) driving by, whistling and trying to give us rides. We attract a lot of attention here...being a big group of Americans. When we got to the beach we all ran to the was so nice to get out of the relentless heat and humidity!!

After playing a little at the beach, we saw Rachel who is a volunteer for DREAM and she told us about this restaurant on the beach that has a happy hour special. So we ended up eating this HUGE, pasta, salad...for a little over $4!! Amazing. And we even paid for our drinks. That's like McDonalds status! haha. Anyway, these pictures up there are from the restaurant. We were literally  100 yards from the water and all the palm trees were tied with pink and red ribbons. It was so nice. Our server was from Germany...she was really nice and helpful when we were struggling to convert from American dollars to Dominican pesos in our heads...

The first picture is Sutton, Janise and Megan...I just put it up because I think Sutton looks really funny. I think they were getting ready to pose for a picture. And the other two are Megan K, Katherine and Megan L enjoying the dinner. So good!

Oh, and side note...while we were sitting there, all these little vendors ATTACKED US! This guy came up and played us some songs and these 3 ladies were trying to braid our hair. We had to literally fight them off! The lady pulled my ponytail out of my hair and just started braiding. It was really crazy! I LOVED IT! 

La Republica Dominicana

Oh, que fun! I am having a great time here in the DR so far. We got in on Thursday around 2 and went through immigration. We were greeted by these 3 old Dominican men playing music and some girls wearing like, Carnaval outfits...? Do they have carnaval here? I don't know. But they were taking pictures with people. From the second we got off the plane, it was SOOO hot!! Kind of gross. I've been dripping with sweat basically non stop. 
After we got our bags, we were going through customs and the guy let everyone go and then stopped me and checked my bag. He asked me where we were first taste of Dominican spanish. He had to repeat it like 4 times because I could not understand a single word! ha. Then we got into our guagua (a little bus thing) and rode from Puerto Plata to Cabarete, where we're staying. It was maybe a 20 minute drive? I don't remember...I was entranced by the scenery. That video is a little part of our ride when we first saw the beach. You can see a few of the kite surfers...there are literally HUNDREDS here. I guess its the kite surfing capital of the WORLD. So crazy. 
Okay, I'm gonna end this for now...but we were just talking about our time here so far and I just have to say that every day here is the new best day of my life!! It keeps getting better!! 

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

'09-'10 GOALS.

I've been thinking about things I want to do this next I'm taking a break from packing to write this, a list of my short-ish term goals. More of these goals may or may not be added later.

1. get a job.

2. use said job to make hundreds of dollars. sit behind bench at Celtics game. make funny faces on TV and wear a really embarrassing shirt that attracts a lot of attention. marry Rondo.

3. graduate.

okay, thats all i have for now. i guess the point of this is: I want to go to a Celtics game. 

DR in 8 hours. comin in hot. 

Thursday, June 18, 2009


The narration in this video is kind of weird...but this is the video from the DREAM website (the project I'm working with this summer for my internship). My mom told me she watched it today and cried. So then I watched it and cried a little too. haha. So now you guys should watch it and maybe cry too.
I can't wait to go help all these kids. They have nothing. I see all the pictures of volunteers hugging and smiling with the kids...and I can't wait to do that! It's weird, because normally I'm not even a huge fan of kids. It's overwhelming thinking about everything these kids need...hopefully I can help at least one of them have a better life. 

Don't be surprised if I come home with a little Dominican in my suitcase...


It's been a while, hasn't it? I know you all can't live without my incredible wit, so I'll write something. 

First of all, I just took my last final like an hour ago. And may I say, I'm pretty impressed with my performance. I got 100% on the multiple choice part of one of my finals! I am so good. If only my grades were a reflection of my performance on finals...alas, they are not. I don't think my grades this semester are gonna be too hot. We shall see. 

Cosa numero dos, In exactly 7 days from this moment, I will be luxuriating in the Dominican Republic. It has really snuck up on me! And now It's last minute and I feel like I'm scrambling to get everything done. Not only do I have to prepare for this on a personal level, I am a little nervous about my class and what I'm teaching. I'm sure I've said it before...I'm teaching a science and nature class. I got a lot of good activities and ideas from my mom who teaches 6th it's a matter of turning those activities into actual LESSONS. And I feel like I need an outline for what to say, in case I get in front of those childrens and my Spanish fails me. 

Anyway, that's basically my whole life right now. I am experiencing some serious relief from stress now that school is over...but I have like no break at all...I have to move on to the next project. Which is fine. I'm so excited and anxious for this DR experience, that I really can't complain. Tonight I'm gonna start making my 125 science journals for my students...

Oh, I have another item of interest- I have an awkward moment to look forward tomorrow. In my ward they are partnering us up to go to the Manti temple luck being as it is, I got paired with the most awkward-est guy. We had like a 10 minute phone conversation that consisted of mostly silences and awkward jokes I didn't understand. I want to back out so bad...but I don't want him to know its cause of him. Even though it totally is. I hope he never finds my blog and sees how mean he is. Or what if we end up like, becoming friends or worse FALLING IN LOVE and then he reads this? haha. oh well! 

This is the most pointless post and I hate myself for writing it. 

Friday, May 8, 2009

7 days...7 weeks!

First of all, my birthday is in 7 days. Start shopping now.

Next item of business, yesterday marked SEVEN WEEKS until I am officially in the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC!! I am so excited I could cry and throw up simultaneously. I'm leaving at midnight on Thursday morning, June 25th. Last night I had a little party at my apartment for our group that's going to the DR from BYU. It was SO MUCH fun. I seriously love everyone in the group...we've really bonded! They are like, my sisters! And I'm so glad I got to meet them all. That's really cheesy, but it's true. We were supposed to watch this movie last night, but we all ended up just talking the whole time. And now we have plans to go pre-DR shopping. We all need like shorts and bathing suits, etc. Coming off this Utah winter has left us completely unprepared for a Dominican summer. Anyway, I'm so excited to get to know everyone better...we have such a good group! I sound like a douche. 
Anyway, seven weeks from THIS SECOND I will be laying on the beach in the DR!!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 
but for now, i need to go write a paper. F WORD...

Monday, April 13, 2009

What do McDonalds and Sarah have in common??

Check out that fatty!! Hot! 

ANYWAY, Today is my BEST FRIENDS birthday. Ms Alicia V Zuniga is 22 years old. What a pimp!! So I wikipedia'd "APRIL 14th" so I could see who she shares her birthday with. I only recognized like 4 people on the long list of april 14th birthdayers. 

So then I decided to look up another important date in history: MAY 15th. AKA my birthday. I was dissapointed to see that I recognized NO ONE on the list. However, I did see that the most important event in the history of the earth occured on May 15th, 1940. That was the day the first McDonalds opened! HELLO! I share a birthday with McD's! How gangster is that?!

I always felt connected to that particular restaurant...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm Not Even Ashamed...

Fact: I saw the Hannah Montana movie. And I liked it. 

Not only did I see the movie, but I saw it on opening day. Meaning, I sat amongst the 10-12 year old girls for 2 hours and had a darn good time. 

Let me give you a little background on my Hannah Montana obsession:
A few years ago, when High School Musical came out, I was like most other college-aged ladies- slightly curious. I made it a long time without seeing the movie. Then during the summer, a friend and I were bored and decided to go rent it. We ended up just making fun of the whole movie and wanting to turn it off. The next day, my 7 and 11 year old cousins came over and saw the High School Musical dvd on the table and FORCED me to watch it again. Once again, I wanted to kill myself. But watching it with my little cousins was actually kind of funny. They are cute and knew the songs, etc. So it wasn't the experience of the night before, where I wanted to stab myself with an AIDS needle, but it was still not my favorite day ever. 
After my HSM experience, I vowed to never watch another RETARDED disney channel movie/show. I could no longer deal with the cheesiness and the constant singing and bad acting.

Fast forward to thanksgiving break 2008. I'm sitting on the couch with my dad. He has control of the remote. What does he choose to watch? You guessed it...Hannah Montana. I was immediately disturbed by the fact that I slightly enjoyed the show. It wasn't really LAUGH OUT LOUD funny or anything...but it was a welcome break after Bret Michaels Rock of Love or MTV shows that focus on backstabbing and cracked out whores. I could not admit to myself or anyone else that I enjoyed the show, however. I even made fun of my dad for sitting through about 15 minutes of a show starring Billy Ray "achy breaky heart" Cyrus and his annoying teen daughter. When my mom said how much a lot of her SIXTH GRADE students liked the show, that sealed my fate: I was going to have to quit watching the show, or at least do it in the secret privacy of my own room.

When I got back from break, it was a while before I watched the show again. But just recently, I started kind of getting into it. And last week was Hand Picked Hannahs week on the Disney channel...i mean, I couldn't resist!! And on Friday, who was on the Tyra show? MILEY CYRUS. It was destiny. I had to go to the movie.

And to be quite honest, the movie was good. It moved me to near-tears several times. I even downloaded a few of the songs when I got home. And already have an embarrassingly high play count on iTunes for a few of them...

The funniest part was when Hannah Montana took off her wig, revealing to a crowd at a concert that she was just plain old Miley. All of the little girls in the theatre SCREAMED. Not like a little scream of surprise...a few were screaming bloody murder. I thought someone pulled out a gun or something. And when Billy Ray kisses his love interest, there were more excited screams from the tween crowd. I mean, when Miley kissed her man, thats okay to scream...but Billy Ray? Really? Since when do we scream for 40 year olds hooking up? 

Long story short, this was a good movie. Wholesome, uplifting. A true feel-good experience. 

James Makes a Comeback.

As many of you know, James (my computer) and I took a small trip last week...down the stairs.

Let me set up the situation...give you a small taste of how it went down-
It was Tuesday, one of my favorite days of the week. However, this Tuesday was different. Not only did I have a big paper due the next day, but I had to take a test online (these tests take about 2 hours...luckily they're online so I totally cheat, which makes it a little easier). And to top it off, I had to pick up my brotha from the airport, severely cutting down the time I had to take my test. 
However, even with all this crap on my plate, I was still optimistic. I was almost done with my paper, was planning on cheating on my test and Tues is my favorite day of classes. In one of my classes we had our "TASTE OF LATIN AMERICA" day. AKA we ate. Can you beat that? You can. But only with a fantastic Dominican Republic class. This class is always fascinating. I mean, I just love everyone in my class. And we get to sing little kid songs in spanish and play games for 2 hours. Its absolutely sensational.
So I was having a pretty neat day. I get out of my DR class, and start heading to the library to go print out some notes for my cheat-fest I was about to embark upon. I only have a few short hours to get a lot done, so needless to say, I am JAMMIN. Not quite running, but one level below breaking out into a sprint. I see the sad custodial girl shamPOOing the carpet. I continue past her and get to the stairs. Being the over-confident mother effer that I am, I ignore the hand railing and take my first step. Everythings going well. I get about 3 stairs down when BAM. I'm done. It's over.
The water/shampoo build up on my flip flops from the carpet causes a major mishap. I fall down about 15 stairs. Luckily, my backpack and my butt break my fall. I quickly gather my resources and try to play it off. But nothing could hide the fact that I was just laying on the ground with my cell phone and papers askew. Of course when I fell, I made quite the commotion on the stairs. A lot of papers crumpling, backpack buckles bouncing down the stairs, and a large mexican eating crap. Luckily, no one else was going down the stairs at the same time...but there was a large group of AZNs waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Maybe an anime class had just gotten out? Or a Samurai Sword handling class? I dont know what the explanation was, but there were about 7-12 asians waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. I walked by, acting natural as though nothing had happened. Similar to what someone would do after farting in a crowded elevator. Just pretend you didn't notice.
As I walked to the library, I couldn't help but laugh. A lot. As in, crack up uncontrollably while walking alone through campus. This is not a situation you want to be in. Lets just say the asians weren't the only ones giving me weird looks that day. So I broke out the cell phone and pretended to be reading a funny text to explain my laughter to the onlookers. 
When I got to the library, I took out my computer and opened it up. The laughter quickly turned to tears. My screen was EFFED UP. SEVERELY. I couldn't even see my picture of my lover Rajon Rondo on the background. This was a concern. Apparently, my computer did not fare well in its small trip down the stairs. Poor James! 
I could not access my almost-finished paper, nor could I get my notes for my test. Luckily I pulled through with an 84 on my test without cheating and I was able to whip a paper out of my butt and turn it in on time. It did require a lot of wikipedia-ing. But it is what it is. Sometimes you need to make a sacrifice. And this was not the first time I used wikipedia as the main source for a paper. 
My brother ended up getting me a pretty sweet deal to fix my comp...not that it matters, since my parents paid anyway. So in the end, everyone was happy. And I got a nice new clean screen and keyboard for my lil Jamesypoo. We are more in love than ever.  

Congratulations on making it through this, the longest post ever.

Friday, March 27, 2009


I haven't written on here in a long time. I'm going to the Dominican Republic este verano. I plan on going surfing everyday. There is just one small problem though...

My INTENSE phobia of sharks.
I want to put a picture of a shark on this post but I'm scared to do a google image search.

Everyone is scared of sharks. Duh. They are killers. They are horrible killers with big, pointy, flesh shredding teeth. They are ugly. They have beady little eyes. They are fast swimmers. They arent cute and furry and playful by any means. So of course, everyone fears sharks. 

My problem is, I do not fear sharks. I go well beyond the feeling of fear. 

Here's a little story to illustrate: A couple of months ago I was telling Kelsey about my shark phobia. People dont tend to believe that I am really THAT scared of sharks. My fear is completely irrational. In fact, I feel like one is sitting behind me right now. I's not possible. Hence the "irrational" part of the fear. Anyway, after explaining about my phobia, we were just sitting there on the couch, each on our respective computers doing who-knows-what. Kelsey says, "hey look at this picture of Elliot!" Elliot is a cute boy I enjoy, so of course, I excitedly look over at her screen and it's a huge shark. Not cool. I ended up having to leave the room because I was crying. Yes. A picture of a shark made me cry. A PICTURE. 

I cant even swim in my pool alone because I'm sure there are sharks in there. And at girls camp, I swam across that lake at about 50mph because I was sure there were sharks in the murky depths of that LAKE. Sharks dont live in lakes. I know. But in my head, there was a family of great whites waiting to attack my thrashing legs.

Where did this fear start? I am not really sure. I saw a great white eat a seal at Point Reyes. But that's not where it started. I actually used to not be scared of sharks. But now I can't even watch the shark scenes in The Little Mermaid. 

Anyway, my point is...I am trying to move past this fear. 
My first step to freedom: Watching the shark attack episode of Fantasy Factory. I did it. It was about 3 minutes of torture. But I didn't cry. I dont even think I screamed. Okay, maybe I screamed. alone. In my room. haha. 
My second step: hypnosis. I saw it on Tyra. 

Step 3. Surf with da sharkz yall. Im doin it.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I accidentally posted that last one. But I'm gonna leave it because its funny. Anyway, I'm in the library and seriously, someone keeps kickin em out. Its sick. It smells so bad. I want to leave, but then I feel like people will think its me. Because why would the innocent leave? So if I have to sit here and endure this, I figure I'll write some more of my 25 (8357) things. Here you gooooo...

1. I am a fan of guys that wear hats. I think every guy looks 100 times better in a hat. Unless the hat is made out of duct tape. And the guy is riding a unicycle. That guy was in my Spanish class. True story. 

2. I hate the sight of mayonnaise. I don't necessarily hate the taste of it. But if I see it, I have to wipe it off. Like at Wendys, they always put so much on the Jr Bacon Cheeseburger. It's gross. And it makes me mad because it adds a whole step (wiping off the mayonnaise) to eating my JBC. It should not be that hard to enjoy food.

3. I cry a lot and I like it. Mostly I'll cry for no reason. I don't really seem like the type but I definitely love to cry. I'll cry after talking to someone on the phone or when I hear a song. This might sound sad...but it's not. Crying makes me feel good. And its never like out of control. Usually just a few tears. Very cleansing. Highly recommended. 

4. I've always wanted to fill the back of a truck with pillows and blankets and drive out to the middle of nowhere and just hang out under the stars! Or under the sky...doesn't have to be at night. Why in a truck? You don't have to load/unload crap. And you are off the ground. You wont get attacked by snakes or have fire ants in your underwear. Win/Win.

5. I laugh by myself a lot. I can just be sitting in class or in my room and I'll remember a funny moment and start laughing. I'm pretty funny. And usually once I start laughing I can't stop. Which is great. Especially in church or at funerals. 

Ok thats it for now. I have to get back to work! 

who farted?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Drop Things.

Yesterday I was picking up my computer. Apparently, my fingers are tiny slip n slides. Somehow I ended up just tossing my computer across the room! This is not the first thing I've dropped...
My phone, my keys, a curling iron (while in my hair), knives, a vacuum down stairs, etc. 

I started thinking about my future as a mom. I will not be able to carry my child without freaking out a little bit. If I can't hold on to small things, how will I handle carrying A HUMAN?? 

My kid better come with a helmet. 

Monday, February 9, 2009

some more things...

1. I'm pretty sure vaseline cures cancer. I'm convinced it's the reason I don't have forehead wrinkles. It is my number 1 beauty secret. Needless to say, I do not have many beauty secrets.

2. I blow on my ice cream, but never fail to burn my tongue on hot food.

3. I am ridiculously competitive. When I set my mind to winning, I HAVE to win. Even when I play games in class...or even at church I make people hate me. I yell when they mess up. I call them names and tell them they're stupid...which is for their own good! If you let people get away with stupidity they'll never learn!! Oh, maybe I'm not competitive. Maybe I'm just mean. 

4. I use wikipedia as the main source for most of my work. Sometimes I look up journals and other things and I cite them in my projects/papers, but mostly all the information I actually LEARN is thanks to wikipedia. It's just so easy to understand. And so accessible!

5. I regularly pee my pants. Usually not a full-on pee. I just have very little control when I laugh a lot. Once when Kelsey and I were playing dress up I peed while standing in my closet. Like 2 feet away from the toilet. I was just laughing too hard. She had to hand me the toilet paper to wipe off my leg. I wasn't wearing pants. 

6. Sometimes my friends and I talk with speech impediments. Lisps, etc. Sometimes we break out the retard voices. Once at Wal Mart I ran through the parking lot yelling and acting retarded. We decided that next social situation someone will pretend to be retarded and then come out as normal at the end of hte night. Whoever is chosen to be the retard will wear a helmet. For this, I am sure I'll be blessed with a retarded child of my very own someday. PS everyone should watch the MTV show Hows Your News? It's my new favorite show.

7. I NEVER iron my clothes. I wear them wrinkled or throw them in the dryer if they're realy bad. Mostly I just wear them wrinkled though. I'm not that interested in impressing anyone to the point where my clothes have to be perfectly straight every single day of my life. If someone has an issue with that, they can suck it.

8. I joke A LOT. I'm sarcastic A LOT. Some people can't handle it. And sometimes when I meet new people I think I lay it on a little thick. Too much too soon, if you know what I mean. It scares them. I'll work on it.

9. When I drove for the first time, I had a pretty embarrassing experience. I didn't really understand the logistics of driving. So when I made my first turn, I didn't let go of the steering wheel to let my wheels straighten out. Nope. I kept right on turning and ended up on a center divided on top of a juniper bush. My car got stuck. We had to walk like 2 blocks to my moms friends house to call my dad to come tow me off. When I got home I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I could hear my older brothers laughing so hard outside. I swore I'd never drive again. But somehow my mom forced me back into the car. And now, happy ending, I am an excellent driver. But my brothers and dad still bring it up every chance they get. 

10. My two least favorite parts of the day are #1 getting out of bed. I need to get a less comfortable's the only thing I can think of that will make it easier. and #2 I hate getting ready for bed. Like the whole taking out the contacts, changing clothes, brushing teeth, washing face. It is so annoying! Sometimes I just want to go to bed in my jeans and let my contacts stick to my eyes and make me blind.
Everything in between those two moments usually goes pretty smoothly. 

Ok Now...Ok Now I...have two fingers.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


more things about me. 

1. When I was young I played a lot of sports I hated. Like basketball. I like watching it. I love going to games. But every time my coach put me in I would have a slight heart attack. I didn't know what the crap I was doing! I was tall so I felt obligated. And all my friends played, so I did. Oh, and soccer. Man, I hated soccer. And I hated my coach too. Well not really my coach, but his son was a huge douche. And to top it off, I was scared of the ball. I was way more likely to get hit in the face by a basketball or softball, but for some reason the soccer ball always scared me. The first sport I really liked was tennis. The team was so fun! And we were all so lazy. We would lie about how much we ran in our conditioning class so the coach would make us do less laps. And we would mess around so much...especially if we got the back courts. It's a great sport. Everyone should play tennis.

2. Speaking of being scared of soccer balls...when I was in like 9th grade my brother and I were playing basketball at my house and he passed me the ball when I wasn't paying attention and it smacked me in the face. Which has nothing to do with soccer balls. But it does have to do with getting hit in the face. It wasn't too bad...except that my lips got stuck in my stupid braces. haha braces. good times. I had skin and blood all up in my grill. It was bad. 

3. I'm obsessed with popping my elbows. I punch out my arms and they just pop. It hurts if I don't do it. And it looks crazy when I do. So it's just bad all around. 

4. I secretly really like Utah. When I was driving home after freshman year at BYU I actually broke down and cried. It was a combination of saying goodbye to everyone for the summer...and the boys all leaving on missions. And seeing the mountains getting further away and smaller off in the distance. The summers and springs and falls here are amazing. And the snow is beautiful...not my favorite to be out in. But its the best snow on earth! It says so on the license plates! And most importantly, there are so many hot guys here. 

5. I have a volume disorder. When I get excited I start yelling. And then I'l look around and see that everyone is staring at me. or if I'm on the phone, I talk really loud. It's weird because I always make fun of my brother and dad for talking loud...but I guess I do it too. Also, my hand motions can get a little out of control. I'm a danger to myself and others. 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

47 Thangs.

You know those posts on facebook...the 25 things posts? I am so annoyed by them. But somehow i always end up reading them. 
Today I decided to compile my own list of 25 facts about moi. Thats french.
Too bad I could not stop at 25. I made a list of 47!! hahaha man I love myself way too much. But I wont throw all 47 at you at once. I'll make this process long and drawn out and very very painful. I'm thinking 5 at a time. By the end, you'll just be dying to know those last few facts about me. 
Plus every single one of my facts is like a page long. I like to write a lot. Especially on my favorite subject: myself. 
And dont worry, I wont post this on facebook. I cant have EVERYONE knowing EVERYTHING about me. This is only for an exclusive group of people. AKA anyone who happens to read my blog. AKA no one. 

Here are the first 5. TA DAAA...

1. I am not clean by any means. Which is weird because I really love clean things. I love a clean house. Like when everything is dusted and the baseboards are shining white. I like it when the windows are so clean you cant tell if theyre open or closed. I want to just run into that clean glass! Sometimes when my house or room are clean all I want to do is just stay home and sit in the cleanliness of it all. I would turn down a night out just to enjoy my clean house.

2. I can spend like 3 hours in Ikea, but I rarely buy anything there. I actually kind of hate everything in that store. The furniture is all crap and its really small. Its made for like tiny European apartments. It's pretty much the worst store ever. And once you get in, it is so hard to get out! They make it a maze to trap you in there. But then the delicious meatballs and cinnamon rolls at the end that are laced with something that makes you forget how bad the experience was. And they also are laced with a slow-release drug that makes you crave another trip to Ikea the next week.

3. Once I took a bite out of a jellyfish that was on the beach. It was on a dare. I did not get anything for doing it. It kind of melted in my mouth. Like cotton candy. Made out of salt.

4. It is my dream to do a triathlon. Unfortunately I can barely walk to the bathroom without losing my breath. 

5. I love road trips. It gives you a legit excuse to eat fast food all day and not change out of your sweatpants. But when it comes to traveling I prefer airplanes. I love flying. I love hanging out at the airport and seeing all the people. I love to see who I'll sit next to on the plane. I love falling asleep in the lap of the old man next to me. I like how it feels to take off and FLY in a huge metal contraption. The fact that a huge metal thing full of people has the ability to fly is amazing! And boats!! dont even get me started.

There we go.

Spring. Its upon us.
Actually, its only February 1st. UGH. Why is winter FOREVER LONG!?!! 
But these past few days have felt positively spring-like. 
So for now, my blog will be springy and flowery in hopes of bringing on an early warm season here in Utah.

Saturday, January 31, 2009


I keep meaning to make my blog look pretty. but then i end up changing my quotes on facebook for an hour. or playing hot dog bush for 10. 
hours, that is. 
so here it is. the ugliest blog on the internet.

Friday, January 16, 2009

American Idol: freakshow.

#2 is def my favorite. idiot woman. sounds familiar...?


"Yeah, I d-d-did"

I might be a little obsessed with YouTube right now. NBD.
Who doesn't love this guy? 


I was watching Americas Best Dance Crew when I remembered another MTV dance show I loved...

Friday, January 9, 2009

"Here's my picture of Jesus..."

One day I was bored. Being that I am really Mormon, I went to the temple. I bonded with an elderly couple. I took pictures. Here they are:
The lights turned on while I was standing there. Everyone was funny. Little kids were even like, screaming. Really? Screaming? It's Christmas, not the end of the world. The moon and that one star in the sky looked cool.
I dont know why there arent any lights in this picture. But the lighting was perfect...the sky color was so pretty. Dusk, if you will. 
I dont know what that little blur dot is doing up there. This year the trees were really lit up. I wonder how much time someone spent putting lights on every single tiny branch of every single tree on Temple square. It took my like an hour just to do one small tree. I can't imagine.
Mo' lights.
Mo' blur dots. 
There's a little Mary/Joseph/Jesus nativity in the middle of the reflection pond. I couldnt capture the coolness of this. But It was cool. Trust. and there are little bubbles of lights...gotta get some of those. 
Check out the moon. It was an amazing night. But you're lucky you weren't was like 2 degrees. I was freezing! My elderly friends were worried about me. I was wearing sweats and a sweatshirt (trousers and a blazer)...had I prepared ahead of time I would've been sporting the ski mask, long underwear, and toe socks. 

break and whatnot.

Christmas break is over. It went by a little too fast...I'm not ready to be back in school. And it's already the end of the first week of school. I have no books, no motivation...I am not ready for this! I mean, its 2:18AM and I'm writing this. Hello!?! I should be sleeping. Not watching season 2 of greys anatomy and being on the internet. Ridiculous. But I figured it was time to change the "Merry Christmas" title on my blog and put up some pictures I took with my camera. I still haven't mastered how to use it...all my pictures are like huge and the ones at night are blurry. But I don't even care. Here's some...
My lil house got snowed on during break. And apparently the economic downturn has really affected the amount of snowplows they have running here. They're lucky I don't have a life...or I'd be so pissed. 
Kenya was nervous...
The sound of the carpet shampoo-er scared her. We spent ALL DAY shampooing the carpets. That machine is SO LOUD. Picture a REALLY REALLY loud vacuum running for like 7 hours straight. I gouged out my eardrums at the end of the day. Note: if you stain my carpet I will kill you. There is no way I'm enduring that again. 
My dad talks really loud on the phone. Kenya was tired of all the noise. And yes, we allow the dog to sit on the couch. She also sleeps in the bed. She is a person. 
Wow. I have a lot of pictures of the dog. She was very entertained by the turkey.