Friday, November 21, 2008

Twilight = 2 hr awkward moment.

I just saw Twilight. With my parents. Yeah, I'm really cool. 

Anyway, they're lucky Cedric Diggory is in it...otherwise it would've just been a waste of $10 and 2 hours. Honestly, it was painful to watch for the most part. And I'm not just being a hater. I actually liked the books. But I could've acted the lead roles better. And the last acting I did was in 6th grade when I got denied at an audition for House on Pooh Corner.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Las Vegas is like the grossest girl up in the club...

So I'm sitting in the Las Vegas airport and am once again reminded of the similarities between the city of Las Vegas and a really nasty girl in a nightclub. It looks good with the lights off, can be fun...but when you turn on the lights---ewww. It's disgusting, dirty, trashy and has STD's. Luckily it's dark outside, so the only thing I can see is the huge billboard right outside the window for Australia's hottest male revue, Thunder from Down Under. What a blessing.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Parking in Provo

Never has there been a place that has so many parking restrictions. Let's talk about them.

1. THE BOOT. Uglier that uggs+a miniskirt. It is a huge metal thing they put on your tire. It makes it so you can't drive your car away. Instead of towing your car (too much work for the towing companies) they immobilize you and make you stay in the spot longer. The spot that you shouldn't have been parked in in the first place! And boots make people mmmaaaddd. I've never heard of any, but I'm sure there have been several instances of physical violence towards the wonderful employees of University Parking Enforcement (who enforce ALL of Provo...not just campus, Ive come to discover). Plus, it totally makes your car look very un-cute.
Places you might get the boot: Visitor parking at any apt complex after 2AM, in front of your own house.

2. The lime green campus parking ticket. You know the one.
I don't LIKE breaking the rules. I always plan on parking in my barely-off-campus spot. But sometimes it's taken, I'm late to class and forced to improvise. And by improvise, I mean park in 1/2 hr parking. For 2 hours. Most of the time, I deserve the tickets I get. 
When it's snowing outside, you have two choices: 1. park close and get a ticket OR, 2. park far, walk through the snow, freeze, have wet pants, suffer for the rest of the day. (which for me means, Don't go to class).
I don't only deserve those tickets. I WANT them. They are a sign that I am going to class. 
But be careful...7 tickets in one year and you get the campus BAN! That's a $300 fine for just driving on campus. Even if its on the weekend. Or if you're just casually driving through to get the Del Taco on Bulldog. That's right everyone...$300. Beware.

3. TOWING. aka the worst thing that can possibly happen to you.
Let's start with a small story. Last spring I started working at a company you may have heard of...APX alarm. Well, if you thought campus parking rules were bad, you have clearly never tried parking at APX. First day of work, I go in excited. New job, good pay, hot guys...what can go wrong? I think you know where this is headed...
I parked in the lot right in front of the building, next to 4 or 5 other cars. When I came out of the building (at 10pm, mind you. A very dangerous time of night, especially for a young lady such as myself) my car was GONE. Someone had stolen my car!! Someone called KNIGHTS TOWING! Or express towing...? The confusion about the name is a whole different story. That night, it was an APX party over at the towing company as we all paid $135 to get our cars out of car jail. APX, why would you put a parking lot right by the building that no one is allowed to park in? why? Why? WHY?!?! And why would you fire me? I'm real nice.

One last driving complaint: RED LIGHTS. Provo, home of the red light. Takes 15 minutes to drive a mile because every light gets special pleasure out of turning red when there is NO ONE else in sight. And then I get special pleasure out of running these lights and then making a lot of random turns to get rid of the police that follow me.

This next story has a just takes a minute to get to it. Bear with me:
The other day I was bored so I convinced myself that I wanted to go to FIDM in Orange county after I graduate so that I can follow my dream of being a buyer for a big fancy department store. I was looking at the apt complex they recommend for students there (Toscana in Irvine) and I noticed that there were TONS of parking complaints about the complex. They complained about having to have a parking sticker. Are you kidding me? Don't complain to me about your stupid little problems. What complex DOESN'T require a sticker? 

Provo is worse. We win.

We were all once bright-eyed, optimistic freshmen. But these parking policies have turned us into hardened criminal 5th year seniors with black hearts and a rabid need to park close to our classes. I, personally, am scarred.

Underpromise, Overdeliver.

The other day I was asked what kind of guys I like. I thought about it for a while and then came up with my answer. I'm into the "butter face" kind of guy. As in 'everything looks good...but 'er face'. I guess technically it would be a buttHIS face..but you get the point. 

These "butter face" guys have the great opportunity to underpromise and overdeliver. When a girl dates a butter face, she does not expect much. Maybe she expects to stare at his severe underbite or too-close-together eyes. But then the guy OVERDELIVERS. He shows that while he has face issues, he is just like any other guy out there. Maybe even better.

And now for some knowledge form everyones favorite show Parental Control:
"Aim Low."
If you don't expect much, you will never be disappointed.

and hey, maybe someday you'll find a guy without a jacked up face.

I'm going, going...back, back. To Cali, Cali.

I'm trying to bulk up my here I am writing again. 3rd time in like 12 hours. 
So I'm going home tomorrow! Good old California. I'm actually going home for thanksgiving, even though it's like a week early. But something else weighs heavy on my 16 credit spanish test is tomorrow!! So I need to study Study STUDY and cram in those last few bits of knowledge. This test is REALLY important for me. Its like an entire semester of classes I NEED for my major and I can just fulfill the requirement in one day! Pretty cool idea...but pretty stressful. 

You know what I just realized? I was looking for a picture to represent my hometown (I dont actually live in that house, sadly) and I picked out a picture from woodland. I just remembered...I dont live there anymore! I live in Esparto. But a picture of a tractor driving 10 mph or a dead raccoon in the middle of the street was not exactly the type of image I was searching for.

Beyonce is YELLING!

Seriously, what's up with Beyonce these days? Used to love her...but recently it seems like all her songs sound the same.
1. They are super repetitive
2. She is yelling
3. They get old after a day.

The one good thing that Beyonce has recently blessed us with: Single Ladies video.

While the song makes me want to stab my ears with sharp knives, the video is mesmerizing. Do they have spell check on here?? I think that's right...mesmerizing. Oh, I found spell check. I digress.

Anyway, you may have seen the Justin Timberlake-Beyonce SNL funny. If you haven't I suggest you go look for it immediately. However, that video features Beyonce actually speaking. Which annoys me.

If you're looking for something to laugh at...say, a gay guy who spent way too much time learning a dance and Beyonce NOT talking...then here is a video for you. Just fast forward through Bonnie Hunt. Who gave her a talk show anyway.

Another The Hills quote I enjoy:
"I make fun of guys when I like them. I do it as a test to see if they can laugh at themselves."
Doesn't hold a candle to the pearls of wisdom that come from JustinBobby. But still so true.
I swear I don't watch that show. I just know things.


They say the third time is a charm...will this be the first time I actually keep up with a blog? As Justin Bobby said, time and truth tell all. I dont know what that means. I guess my point is we will just have to wait and see if this lasts.